Every unmarried 20-something in a relationship feels the pressure. They hear about it, too. Maybe they’re not in a relationship, so they hear about a different kind of pressure: finding someone.
Whatever the case may be, our elders — though they mean it with love — have this adorable little habit of “reminding” us what the next step should be.
I don’t talk about my personal life all that much, with the exception of Faith, since for the last two years she has pretty much taken up the majority of my free time. However, about six months ago I started dating my wonderful boyfriend, Andrew — whom I’ve never written about before, and I’m sure will just be thrilled when he reads this.
Sorry Andy, this is unfortunately the burden you bear dating a writer.
Anyway, I am very fortunate that he puts up with my crazy life of working two jobs, owning a horse and living a little bit of a distance away, as he lives in Mankato. For awhile my parents were satisfied that I had finally met someone and was happy. However, the satisfaction didn’t stay for long and the urge started creeping in.
All you parents know what I’m talking about — the urge to tell your children what to do and simply “remind” them of what they should be expecting out of the next steps in their lives.
Again, I know it is out of love and concern, but I have to break this down for you parents. Being in relationships and getting married isn’t what it used to be.
My parents met and were married within nine months, and while they just celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary this week, the truth is that’s not the norm for most families.
Most people know that marriage is essentially a 50/50 deal. So while us youngins are excited to be in love, we also have to think about getting a stable career before marriage, affording a wedding, affording a ring, possibly buying a house … all those things that come with being married.
Let alone the emotional end of it, could I see myself with this person for forever? How hard am I willing to work at a relationship and marriage?
The reality is a divorce can not only emotionally damage you, but it can financially ruin you.
The point I’m getting at is, while we are happy being in love and finding someone, we may not be so in a rush to start thinking of those things, because the world we live in today demands us to think of those things.
I may sound cynical, and I probably am, a little (I blame my five years living in New York), but marriage is a huge commitment and not something to rush into.
While Andy and I are very happy together, we are still learning, still figuring out life and wanting to have adventures together before we settle down. Our first adventure being a little week-long trip to Cabo san Lucas, Mexico, for his 27th birthday in January. Right now, we are perfectly content embracing life together, without having rings on our fingers.
So yes, Mother, while the pictures of wedding dresses you send me on a weekly basis are very pretty, it’s not changing the fact that I will not be engaged for a very long time.
After all, if I’m going to have a fairytale, as only Disney can create, happily-ever-after type of ending, that wedding and ring is probably going to cost a pretty penny. Sorry Andy.